Many men feel more emotionally connected to their partner when they can protect her. Throughout history, a man’s protective instinct meant keeping a woman from harm and severe deprivation through his actions. Nowadays, protection means caring about her emotional well-being. This requires not only listening, but perhaps, more importantly, demonstrating protection and care through action.
How men can demonstrate care and protection:
- When a woman complains about something to you, consider it a request for comfort or protection. No need “to rescue her” or “fix it”, but this is a chance to show how much you care. Convey admiration, empower her, assist and/or accompany her. Help her with a problem at work she’s worried about, an issue with her parents, with the children or housework etc.
- If she is very critical, she is likely worried about something. Don’t make it worse by being defensive, withdrawing or criticizing her. Connect by demonstrating through your actions that you care, which will reduce her fear. Take a load of worry off her by doing something that needs to be done tangibly (like the laundry) or intangibly (a compliment about a difficult decision she has made recently).
- Always help your wife feel secure and safe. Then she will feel more emotionally connected to you. Never dismiss or ridicule her fears. Affection will be more likely to flow when she is not anxious or angry.
- For a better sex life, and to be a better lover, make a stronger emotional connection with her by consistently cultivating a high level of compassion for her emotional state over time.