EFT Couples Therapy or marriage counselling can help you resolve the relationship problems that you can’t seem to sort out together.
“Families are faced with navigating the changing demands of developmental transitions, daily life challenges, and unexpected crises each of which require families to find and sustain an emotional balance and coherence that govern what it means to promote both belonging and becoming” (Furrow, Palmer, Johnson, Faller and Palmer-Olsen, 2019)
Many parents come to therapy focused on behaviour. The disrespect. The silence. The arguments. The lying. The withdrawal. The poor choices.
In many families, the real problem is that everyone has become emotionally reactive, protective, and disconnected. Parents feel worried, helpless, or angry. Teens feel misunderstood, controlled, or alone. Everyone is trying to protect themselves, but no one feels fully heard.
That is where family therapy can help.
At New Insights Counselling, family therapy is grounded in Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT). This approach helps families understand the deeper emotional patterns underneath conflict so that parents and children can respond to each other differently, with more clarity, care, and stability. The current Family Therapy page already emphasizes EFFT, parent-teen disconnection, the demands of adolescence, and the added strain of separation and divorce.
“We came to so see Allan because we had a situation with our 17-year-old son. He was becoming more and more difficult to reason with and was not taking any responsibility for himself. Our collective tempers were rising to the point where matters were becoming almost physical. As his father, I was so angry with him that I was ready to throw him out of the house.
Personally, I had reached a point where I did not know what to do. In counselling we learned better ways of negotiating and how to reach consensus. The process helped us do something different than what we were doing on our own. It allowed me to stop, back up and deal with the situation in a very different way. It reminded me of the things I normally did with all my children but had stopped doing because my son had become so unbelievably belligerent, which led to my growing anger. I felt that he just did not have the right to do what he was doing in our home. The counselling re-framed things for me so I could look at the situation differently. It calmed me down.
A key benefit of the counselling is that we now have a calmer, more respectful family. Allan, as a mediator with the tools to keep things calm, allowed all of us to say and hear what we needed to, from each other. Having finished counselling, we hope that we can NOW proceed with the same process without the need of a mediator. We can now live by a code of fairness. We have the skills to resolve matters without Allan. Since every person shared the counselling experience together, we can help one another if one of us starts to fail.
Allan kept his cool. When calm heads prevail, we’re all encouraged to do the same. When we took the step to go to a counsellor, we were admitting there was a serious problem and acknowledged that we had to do something about it. If we had proceeded on our own, without help, our son could well have been out of the house, and my wife extremely upset with me.
Allan connected with our son. He was firm with each of us so we were clear we could not get away with anything. But the process felt very fair. Allan knows when to speak and when to let things go. He intervenes when things are counterproductive. He is a good listener.
Measuring how I feel about my relationship with my son now, I have to say that I am much more comfortable. I see real change in him and I’m sure he would say the same about me.
I appreciated that Allan spoke up and ended our sessions when the counselling was complete. As a businessman, I know how some situations can be milked. While tentative at first, I came to trust the process. Allan maintains a professional distance while at the same time, shows you that he cares. You don’t need a therapist to be your friend, but you do need someone who is dispassionate. Allan was all of that. We have referred our friends to Allan.”
This work is especially helpful for families with teenagers and young adults when:
Adolescence naturally brings more independence, stronger emotions, and more pushback. That does not mean your relationship has to keep getting worse.
Family therapy can help you stay connected to your teen while also respecting their growing autonomy.
When every conversation becomes a battle, therapy helps slow the pattern down so each person can feel safer, heard, and less defensive.
Sometimes the problem is not only conflict. It is distance. Your teen may seem unreachable. You may feel like you have lost closeness, influence, or trust.
Family transitions often create grief, loyalty binds, confusion, and resentment. Therapy helps families navigate these changes with greater care and emotional steadiness.
New partners, step-parent relationships, and changing family roles can create strain for everyone. Therapy gives space to work through those tensions without making things worse.
When a teen is overwhelmed, isolated, angry, or making concerning choices, therapy can help the family understand what is driving those struggles and how to respond more.
You may love your child deeply and still feel:
You may be trying everything you know, and still watching things get worse.
That does not mean there is no hope. It often means the old ways of handling conflict are no longer working, and your family needs a different kind of support.
Family therapy is not about deciding who is right and who is wrong.
It is about helping each person understand what is happening beneath the anger, silence, control, or resistance.
In therapy, your family can begin to:
The goal is not a perfect family. The goal is a more stable, respectful, and emotionally connected one.
At New Insights Counselling, we help families move through conflict, emotional strain, and disconnection with more understanding and less reactivity.
EFT Therapist
Individuals and Couples
Online throughout Ontario
EFT Therapist
Individuals and Couples
Online throughout Ontario
Do not wait until family life gets even more painful
Many parents wait too long before reaching out.
They hope things will settle on their own. They try to stay patient. They second-guess themselves. They tell themselves this is just a phase.
Sometimes it is a phase. But sometimes the pattern becomes more entrenched, and the distance grows.
When conflict, shutdown, resentment, or emotional instability become the norm, family therapy can help interrupt that pattern before more damage is done.
Seeking help is not an overreaction. It is often the most caring and responsible thing a parent can do.
Family therapy begins by understanding the specific challenges your family is facing and the relationship pattern that keeps repeating. In sessions, each person has space to speak, be heard, and better understand what is happening beneath the conflict.
The process is structured and supportive. It is not about blaming one person or forcing quick fixes. It is about helping family members recognize each other more clearly, communicate more effectively, and respond with less reactivity.
Over time, therapy can help reduce conflict, strengthen emotional safety, and create more trust and steadiness in the home. The goal is not a perfect family. The goal is a more connected and resilient one.
When you book your phone consultation you will receive a link to my online calendar. You can then book a free Phone Consultation appointment into my online schedule. I want to know a little about your situation so I know whether I can help you and explain the process if I can.
First Three Family Therapy Sessions.
We prefer to see parents and teen together for the first family therapy session which is 90 minutes long. For separated/divorced parents living in separate homes, together we figure out what is the best way to proceed. It is very important to inform your teen that you are going to attend a family session. Keeping our meeting secret and telling them at the last minute will likely lead to upset and reduce the likelihood that they will attend willingly. Sometimes, you may have to come without the teen because they refuse to attend. On occasion, we will see parents alone, and we talk about how to encourage your teen to come the next time.
During the first 90-minute family therapy session, we will learn about concerns that each of you have about your family relationships. Each will be able to speak freely, and we do all we can to make it as comfortable as possible. We will also ask you each to tell me what you hope to accomplish by coming to family counselling.
It is common to see parents alone and the teenager alone for the second session. This allows each to speak freely about concerns they worry will hurt or upset the other if said in front of them, yet is important for me to know, in order to understand what is going on in the family.
The third session is usually held all together to talk about the focus going forward. Often, the strained relationship is the focus of the two-person sessions. The goals you want to accomplish, shape the course of therapy.
Subsequent Regular Family Therapy Sessions.
All subsequent sessions are 60 or 75 minutes long. We usually see those in the strained relationship together until the goals are accomplished.
Follow-up Family Therapy Sessions.
We are committed to helping families make lasting change. When you have accomplished your goals and end regular family therapy sessions, a follow-up session can be held.
If you think you could benefit from family therapy, please book your free 15-minute phone consultation.
*All anonymous endorsements on this website were given voluntarily by my clients after the completion of their counselling and in keeping with principles of the Code of Ethics and Standards of the Ontario College of Social Workers and Social Service Workers.
New Insights Counselling is located in midtown Toronto at Yonge and Eglinton serving North York, Etobicoke, East York, Scarborough and online throughout Ontario.
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